through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
