i may or may not be watching the land before time
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
