y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
