I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
