i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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