the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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