the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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