I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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