Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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