didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
