I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
