I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
