Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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