Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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