bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
