genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
