Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
