dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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