Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
