She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
