I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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