i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
