I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
