I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms