so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.