I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
