i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
