I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it hurts more in the daytime
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We got so high we made milksteak
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The Olympian is in my bed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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