I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
