don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
