you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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