distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
