looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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