I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ttyl tear gas
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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