Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
