Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
