Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
