why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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