She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
