Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize