So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize