He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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