I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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