so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
