I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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