stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
