What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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