if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
