so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
