At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
