the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
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I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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