I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
