Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
