Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

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(516): View more from New York

Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive

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