May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out