We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.