My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT