i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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