my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
