nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
