Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.