Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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