dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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