he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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