That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
