I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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