i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
