I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
