You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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