how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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