God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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