I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
