I want to walk on stilts...naked
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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