I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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