she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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