Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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